Hi there Becka. Welcome to the board.
You mentionned that your boyfriend's parents seem to approve of you and are even encouraging him to propose to you. While this might appear to be a good sign, I think that they may just be seeing you as a possible convert. For a jw parent, there is always the hope that their wayward child's new love interest will "see the light" and not only will they convert but they'll help the wayward child back "to the fold."
One thing you can count on with jw's is that things are not as they appear.
tall penguin
tall penguin
JoinedPosts by tall penguin
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58
Please help me, I need advice on dating a JW!!
by Super_Becka inok, i'm new here, so please be gentle.
maybe the advice i need is somewhere else in this forum, but i really don't want to have to search for it, i really need some advice now and i don't have the time to sift through all of the other entries here.
so please bear with me and share any and all advice you have, even if you think it's not what i want to hear.
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tall penguin
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21
JW response to latest hard line anti-education WT article?
by watch the tower inbased on some of the recent threads, it seems that the latest wt study article has created quite a stir within the congs.
for those of you that are still attending meetings and in active association with the cong, i am curious as to what the private response of individuals has been like.
i'm not talking about the usual, "wasn't that a great study?
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tall penguin
My brother works with a rather liberal jw, who has been encouraging his children to get whatever education they'd like and to do what they want with their lives, even if that means leaving the dubs. Anyhow, at this Sunday's wt study on education, his son walked out of the congregation disgusted by the discussion and his daughter was so emotionally distraught about the subject that she was in tears when she got home.
This jw called a certain open-minded elder in his congregation and had him come over to listen to his concerns, which the elder did. Apparently this elder said that he understood the concerns and that in the end, it's up to the individual what they want to do about their education. I'm thinking this elder is the exception to the rule.
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Another wacky ebay auction!
by Why Georgia inthis little girl is auctioning off her imaginary friend so she can go to france!
definately a change from a lemonade stand or selling candy bars!.
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/ebayisapi.dll?viewitem&item=5633412401&category=88433.
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tall penguin
I give her credit for ingenuity.
tall penguin -
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I NEED YOUR INPUT ON THIS ASAP..
by Mary inok, i got a call tonight from an old friend i knew years ago when i lived in another city.
i haven't seen him for 18 years although we have had occassional contact.
he's coming in to toronto next week and wants to know if we can get together to catch up.
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tall penguin
Or you could bring him out to this Friday's T.O. apostafest. That would be interesting.
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The sacrifice of a child, for pioneer hours.
by Gill inchildren are an expendable part of the the wtbts.
if they're worldly children, they're insignificant as they're going to die anyway when armageddon comes.
if they're jw children, they only survive because of their parents 'good standing' and then their needs must always come after their parents 'god' the demands of the almighty wtbts.. i was walking home from school this morning past the home where about 16 years ago, a single mother and her tiny little boy used to live.
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tall penguin
Hi Gill,
That's an awful story. If you will, I'd like to relate a similar story of my own.
Over a year ago, a few months before I started my fade, I was studying with a young girl, 9 years old. Her mother would also study occasionally with another older sister and her brother, 12 years old, studied with a brother in my congregation.
The little girl really enjoyed her studies and came to almost every meeting with me during the summer she was off from school. She was such a joy to everyone there. I and the other young ones in the congregation would make a point of taking her out for a snack after some meetings as she'd often express how she hadn't had any dinner. Which I thought was odd.
The times I went for her study I'd notice that it was just her and her brother alone downstairs watching a lot of tv, while Mom, tired and depressed, slept upstairs. Dad was usually at work. My study told me that most of the time they had to make their own meals. The feeling in that house was kind of strange but I couldn't put my finger on it.
Sometimes when I'd pick her up for the meeting, this girl would look sad. I had witnessed her mom yelling at her to get ready since I was waiting. I assured mom that there was no hurry, but I could tell that the yelling was a regular thing.
One Sunday morning, I had picked her up for the meeting and she looked very sullen. She didn't want to talk so I just gave her a hug and told her I was there to listen if she wanted. When we got to the hall, she wasn't socializing with the other kids (as she loved to do). The meeting started and we stood up for the song.
I put my arm around her and I could see the tears starting to well up in her eyes. I said, "Let's go downstairs and talk." So I took her into the kitchen in the kh basement and sat her on my knee and just hugged her as she sat there sobbing and crying. I waited for her to talk. Slowly she revealed that she was left alone with her brother a lot and he would often tie her up and beat her. He'd also wave a knife in her face and threaten to kill her. She also said that their mother had choked both her and her brother on a few occasions.
Their baby brother had also died recently (one of the reasons I was asked to study with this girl to begin with; to give her an opportunity to talk about her brother's death and teach her about the resurrection. This girl had actually gone on a hunger strike because she wanted to die to be with her baby brother in heaven.) Anyhow, the girl told me how her older brother said that he'd wished that she had died instead of the baby. And he would often threaten to kill her to get rid of her.
I was aghast yet not surprised. I had a sense something was up and now I knew what it was. I resolved to call the Child Services people and let them know what I'd heard. I spoke to my fave elder in the hall (the fleshly brother of the sister who studied occasionally with this girl's mother btw) and he was in full support of my decision. So I called Child Services and found out that there was already a file open on this family and in fact, one older child had already been removed from the house by them. I felt relieved.
The last I heard, the girl and her brother were asked by Child Services if they wanted to go back to the home. The brother did. The girl did not. I have no idea what happened from there. I just know there was some fallout at the kh afterwards.
The elder's sister, the one who studied with this girl's mom, called me one night in a rage, interrogating me as to whether I was the one who called Child Services. I refused to answer her saying it was none of her business.
The sister than revealed that the mother had found out that I was the one who called (Stupid Child Services told her) and had called the sister to blast her for my involvement. The sister didn't feel that it was my right to interfere in this "spiritual" matter. I told her that it was the legal obligation in this country to report child abuse and that there was no conflict there with my spiritual ogligations. The two issues were completely separate. She disagreed.
I got off the phone and called the elder. He still supported me and told me he'd take care of his sister. Which he did. She never discussed it with me again, although she barely spoke to me at the kh after this. Prior to that we'd been close. So sad.
I have no idea what happened to this little girl. I hope one day she'll look me up. She always said that she wanted to be a jw like me when she grew up. I hope she'll find me before she makes that choice. Regardless, I just hope that wherever she is, she's safe now.
tall penguin -
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ontario, canada
by telltruth inhope everyone is having a good day.
wondering how many fellow ontarians there are here?
please drop in and say hello, thank you.
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tall penguin
Next Friday is better for me. Please let me know in a pm.
tall penguin -
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FEELING VERY DEPRESSED, EMPTY. LIFE IS CONFUSING...
by stillAwitness inmeetings are dragging me down.
it sucks because i still live at home and have no choice but it has gotten to the point where i have left early at times just because i cannot stand to hear all the b.s from the platform.
how do i just keep doing what i have to do till i know i can leave?
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tall penguin
stillawitness,
Here's a few books that helped me:
Toxic Faith by Arterburn & Felton
The Road Less Travelled by M. Scott Peck
Oh, and I'm currently reading a lovely book called "The Velveteen Principles" based on the children's story, "The Velveteen Rabbit." It's a great book using the philosophy from the kid's story on what it means to be real. Velveteen Principles is by Toni Raiten-D'Antonio.
Hugs to you,
tall penguin -
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Walking through Wal-Mart/Jehoba told me
by colorado5591 ini was walking through wal-mart this eve, minding my own, purchasing things for the club.. suddenly, from the clothing racks a man jumps in front of me!
bloody hell!
there was nowhere to run.
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tall penguin
At least he was pretty definite that Jehovah still loves you. My CO's wife left me a phone message just before I disassociated saying how much I was missed and how much she and the others in the congregation loved me. And then added, "And I think Jehovah loves you too." She wasn't sure since she didn't have the heavenly confirmation that your jw man did. So be grateful! :)
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I realized something today...
by tall penguin ini was thinking today about my business.
i've been working in the field of educational therapy for the past 4 years, helping children and adults with learning challenges.
in the past year, i started working with infants as well, supporting their first year motor development.
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tall penguin
"Yes, i think we need to distinguish between helping people and feeling responsible for people." Thanks ackack for this.
There is a difference. For now, I'm finding it hard to keep the balance. With the jw mentality I was raised with, not to mention the responsibility I felt in caring for my mother's emotional needs, I need some time to get grounded again before I can help people in a balanced and healthy way. Right now I'm just a wounded healer and when you're working one on one with people the way I have been, that doesn't help anyone.
Perhaps in the future I will be able to go back to my therapy career from a more balanced place. For now though, the most important person to heal is me.
:) tall penguin -
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I realized something today...
by tall penguin ini was thinking today about my business.
i've been working in the field of educational therapy for the past 4 years, helping children and adults with learning challenges.
in the past year, i started working with infants as well, supporting their first year motor development.
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tall penguin
theinfamousone, you can work in my bookstore any day! Hey, aren't you in Toronto? I could perhaps hook you up with a job!!! pm me!
rebel8, yup, I thought you'd be able to relate to my shout-out. Damn, it felt so good! It was hard to admit that I just don't want to help people in that way anymore, as if I'm letting people down by not trying to save them. That jw mentality creeps in there, that sense of responsibility, that sense of everyone else's happiness being more important than my own. It's challenging to over-ride that crap. But I'm getting there.